Phoesune

I want to write how I feel but I am numb. The pulses of emotions tremble at the edges of my heart. For a time it was as though I had diamonds in my hands but found too late it was sun shining on grains of sand. This once though, I am only grateful for the time and the wonder of it. I think we both were enriched by what moments we have had and the pleasant joy of each other. Saddened now by the distance we must place between us, but gladdened by the wisdom of doing so now. I will miss our conversations that we once shared without pretense or pretext. I will miss the surprise of joy when you appeared through a door or escaped to the sky. Now I will have fear and trepidation as one walking on eggs longing to be eggshells spilling their life fluids upon the ground. I respect your decisions. I respect you. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Yet again my heart wishes for another path. My heart that occasionally glanced down those corridors of possibility will cover its eyes and hold back its tears. It will be strong for your sake and hopefully for mine.

I cannot resent you as I have come to know you. You did what was best for both of us and for that, you were better than me. Thank you for the kindness of having known you and hopefully as day passes on to day we can come to understand that this was not wasted time. I will remain diligent and steadfast for the sake of the friendship we still have. Perhaps some day we could find a way to share that camaraderie we once enjoyed. Till then, I will remain faithful to my promises and allow that balance to find itself and if not I will accept your floating away. Grateful always that I had at least a little time to share in your light.

Please don’t misread these lines if you happen to find them. It was my thoughts on paper that needed expression and nothing more. In that sand filtered through my hands, I did find diamonds. I will cherish them forever.